DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Do you have any idea what they’re really teaching your kids at school?

You should familiarize yourself with the curriculum at your child’s school if you want to gain an edge in your child custody dispute. Of course, this is good parenting advice in general. But learning what your kids are learning in the classroom can bolster your chances of success in the Family Court too....as long as you put this knowledge to work.

For example, does your child’s teacher use a "Word Wall" as a device to teach reading skills. A Word Wall helps primary students to learn sight words, sounds, rhymes, word patterns and spelling skills. Try building a Word Wall at home to extend the experience at school. What about mathematics? Does your school use the traditional skills-and-drills method of teaching math, or are the teachers more creative? For example, some teachers ask students to take measurements of objects in the classroom, or to measure the length of a hallway (in yards, then in feet, inches and centimeters). This is another skill set that can be carried into the household after the school day ends.

Older students may be learning about certain cultural themes such as "prejudice" or "the environment." They may be studying historical periods such as "the Middle Ages" or "Colonial Times." Often, textbooks, films and other media are incorporated into thematic classroom discussions as part of a semester-long course on American History or Western Culture. These topical areas can be exploited and examined in greater detail at home as parents and children carry on discussions at the dinner table, or while watching a television relevant program together.

By engaging your children in relevant exercises, activities and discussions at home, that are tied to the educational activities at school, you’re not only improving your child’s chance of success at school, but you’re building a strong case for your role as a caring, devoted parent. In a child custody case, the court will be happy to see a parent who took the time to understand the child’s classroom curriculum and to extend the learning process into the home environment.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Log Everything at School (Become a Spreadsheet Expert)

Two years ago, the Michigan Court of Appeals heard an interesting case in which a father gained custody of his child by demonstrating the stability of his household and the level of commitment to the child’s educational activities. In the case of Phillips v. Shand, the Court noted that the father, his new wife, and the child’s teachers maintained a running log about the child which they passed back and forth amongst themselves, chronicling observations and making notes about the child’s progress. This interesting case illustrates the importance of maintaining a running record of all school activities in which the parents participate.

Whether you are a custodial parent or a non-custodial parent, you should get into the habit of maintaining a record of all school events in which the child participates, and which are attended (by either or both parents). These days, such records can be maintained easily on Excel spreadsheets, calendar programs and other software platforms. If you’re not computer savvy, you should maintain such records in a dedicated date book (such a date-minder or month-at-a-glance book). In maintaining records be sure to include the following:

1. All parent-teacher organization meetings attended (PTAs, PTOs, etc.)
2. All private parent-teacher meetings held
3. All school sports events, tournaments and other competitions attended.
4. All school concerts or theatrical performances attended.
5. All awards ceremonies attended.
6. All disciplinary meetings with administrators or special meetings with school counselors attended.
7. All field trips or chaperone activities.

Each entry logged into your records should identify the date of the event, the nature of the event, who was present, what was discussed (or what occurred), and what actions, if any, the parent took in response to it. For example, a parent who attends a meeting with a teacher who indicates that the child has been falling behind in math may wish to establish a follow-up procedure to track the child’s progress in school while arranging a few private meetings with a math tutor at the family home. This hands-on approach to the child’s academic performance should then be recorded in the parent’s logbook as the response to a parent-teacher meeting. All of these steps will assist parents in re-constructing their level of parental involvement if and when it comes time to fight over custody and visitation rights.