Whenever parents are embroiled in a child custody fight, or a dispute over visitation rights, the court will inquire into what arrangement serves the "best interest" of the child. But how do we know what is in a child’s best interest? What exactly do those terms mean?The "best interest" test really boils down to a number of questions: What is in the child’s best educational interest? What is in the child’s best spiritual interest? What is in the child’s best medical interest? ...and so forth. One of the most important ways of measuring what is in a child’s best interest is to consider which parent provides the most day-to-day contact with the child’s doctors, dentists and other health care providers. By gauging a parent’s involvement with physicians and day-to-day health issues for the children, a court can establish one important criterion for determining the "best interest" of the child.
In most cases, the custodial parent takes the responsibility for getting the children to and from their checkups and other doctor’s appointments. To strengthen their positions, custodial parents should give timely notice to non-custodial parents of all doctor’s visits, and then keep track as to whether the non-custodial parents participate in the doctor’s visits, contact the doctor directly before or after the visit, or otherwise inquire about the visit. By tracking the non-custodial parent’s participation levels and response rate, the custodial parent will be able to argue, if necessary down the road, that the non-custodial parent was disinterested in, or detached from, the child’s health care.
If you are a non-custodial parent, you may find that you can strengthen your claim for custody, joint custody, or visitation rights by remaining actively involved in the children’s health care. Attending doctor’s visits, communicating with physicians and office staff regularly, reading doctor’s notes and reports and becoming familiar with the children’s prescriptions will also serve to demonstrate that you are connected with the best medical interests of the children.
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I can see why this is important. I have diabetes and muscular dystrophy. Doctors have been a regular part of my life. My mother was the one who shuttled me back and forth for every little thing--endocrinologists, surgeons, pulmonologists, orthopedists, the works. I'm not saying that my father didn't love me, or try to keep involved, but obviously he wasn't on top of all of my special medical needs, my medications, etc. Even now, years later as an adult, he only has a vague understanding of my condition. I wonder now, looking back, whether he would have improved his chances for custody had he taken a more active interest in my health conditions.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Shaun, your situation makes the point much better than I ever could have. When parents have a disabled child, the burden is ten times greater on each of them to remain actively connected to the medical community. Really, I don't know how one parent could handle it alone -- no offense to you -- but I can only imagine the difficult times raising a child with multiple health issues. I assume, from your comments, that your mother retained custody of you when your parents split up....and I'm assuming too that her deep involvement with your doctors and specialists put her in a stronger position in family court.
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