DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Invite the in-laws…..and your custody case will grow stronger over time.

It may seem contrary to popular experience, but inviting your mother-in-law and father-in-law to partake in child-related events may help you to win your custody case. Indeed, keeping the in-laws in the loop is evidence of your greater appreciation for maintaining a relationship between the children and their grandparents.

In many families, we find friction between a parent and her in-laws. Like the television series “Everyone Loves Raymond,” the mother-in-law is often looked upon as a busybody, know-it-all, who interferes and dominates when she’s on the scene. In-laws may not always be welcome, and they may be ungracious meddlers. Yet they should not be ignored.

When a custody fight is on the horizon, it is even more important to keep the in-laws connected to the children. Invite them to the soccer games, the ballet performances, the school concerts. Invite them to some of the lesser important events involving the children – not just to the big holiday parties. Invite them to go shopping with you and children, or to accompany you and the kids to the neighborhood park.

Of course, you shouldn’t be inviting the in-laws along because you need them to serve as baby-sitters, or because you’re incapable of caring for your children on your own. Rather, it should be strictly for social and familial purposes. By keeping the in-laws in the loop, you are sustaining an important part of the children’s generational relationships. You’re rising above the petty disagreements, and the problems with your spouse, and you’re demonstrating your commitment to a greater wholesome and nurturing environment for the children.

Often, judges extend custody rights to the parent most likely to accommodate the other parent and most likely to maintain the children’s extended family ties. By keeping the in-laws on the A-List, you have another argument in favor of your own rights to primary custody because you – and perhaps you alone – are the parent most likely to provide an inclusive relationship between the children and their various family members.