DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Befriending your babysitter may benefit your case.

Chances are, your children’s babysitter knows a few things you don’t know about the children. She may know that your daughter has a crush on a boy at school; she may know that your son got into a fight with a neighborhood bully; she may know why the kids dislike court-ordered visitations with your ex-spouse.

Has anybody learned something important from the babysitter? Do tell.

Because the babysitter is often privy to inside information that children may be reluctant to share with a parent, it is always a good idea to get to know your babysitter well. In fact, befriending the babysitter can have many benefits in the event of a contested child custody case or a dispute over parenting or visitation time. A good babysitter can serve as your "undercover" eyes and ears, making observations about the children and picking up on cues about their happiness at home and at your ex-spouse’s home. A babysitter may detect inappropriate behavioral patterns or may discover an undisclosed bruise on one of the children’s arms or legs. Rumors at school or at camp could leak out while the babysitter is over the house. For example, imagine learning from your babysitter that your daughter saw a "For Sale" sign on your ex’s home – something your daughter didn’t think was important to mention to you, but mentioned it to the babysitter while playing a board game that jarred her memory.

Babysitters can also serve as key witnesses at child custody trials. They can testify about your parenting skills, your home and work schedules, your household rules and discipline, the children’s state of mind and state of health, and other important factors. Babysitters may also have valuable information about your ex-spouse, which – if you can get around the hearsay rule – may provide further evidence on your behalf.

Let me know any experiences you might have had with babysitters.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Two Against One. A lawyer for the child may increase your odds of winning the child custody case.

Nearly every state permits the court to appoint a lawyer to represent the child in a contested custody case. While each parent may have a separate lawyer, the child’s interests are not always well-protected or well-represented by either lawyer. Therefore, under court rules in most states, a third lawyer can join the case --- a lawyer for the child.

Of course, most cases won’t require a third lawyer. In most cases, the court will be able to render a decision based on the representations of the two parents and their lawyers. One parent is likely to be the custodial parent. In other cases, however, the parents are so contentious and so focused on their own rights that a third lawyer is necessary to sift through contradictory testimony and to speak on behalf of the child. An attorney for the child can also interview the child and may ferret out certain truths that are not readily available.

Asking the court to appoint a lawyer for the child can be a brilliant tactical maneuver in the right case. When a vital piece of information is disputed, a third lawyer can resolve the dispute by arguing either in favor of the mother’s version or the father’s version. Indeed, a lawyer for the child may side with the mother or the father, and may recommend that one parent or the other be awarded custody. In this regard, a third lawyer functions as a tie-breaker. Instead of Plaintiff’s lawyer versus Defendant’s lawyer, the case would become a case of “two against one” – giving a decided advantage to the parent whose lawyers shares the same position as the child’s lawyer.

So, while a lawyer won’t be appointed for the child in every case, getting the court to make this appointment (in the appropriate case) can truly increase the odds of winning the custody case.