DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Back to school before back to court: Take a class with your child and gain an advantage in your custody case.

An excellent way to improve your stake in a child custody case is to take a class with your child. Sign up for a cooking class with your teen. Or sign up for karate together. Enroll in a summer basketball camp – both of you – and complete the program together. Join an art club or take a painting class together.

Not only will taking a class together draw you and your child closer together, tightening the parent-child bond, but it could be lots of fun and could provide a great recreational activity for a sometimes stressful relationship. Perhaps most importantly, taking a class together will provide demonstrable evidence of your commitment to your children, creating strong evidence in your favor in a family court.

There may also be enduring benefits even after the class ends. Consider, for example, cooking up a feast with your child for Thanksgiving, while showing off some of things you learned together in the cooking class. Or, practicing karate together as a form of exercise at the commencement of each of your weekend visitations with the child, drawing on the techniques learned in your karate class. By extending the classroom experience, you can enhance the parenting experience while bolstering your position in a contested custody case.

Has anybody ever taken a class with their son or daughter?

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Befriending your babysitter may benefit your case.

Chances are, your children’s babysitter knows a few things you don’t know about the children. She may know that your daughter has a crush on a boy at school; she may know that your son got into a fight with a neighborhood bully; she may know why the kids dislike court-ordered visitations with your ex-spouse.

Has anybody learned something important from the babysitter? Do tell.

Because the babysitter is often privy to inside information that children may be reluctant to share with a parent, it is always a good idea to get to know your babysitter well. In fact, befriending the babysitter can have many benefits in the event of a contested child custody case or a dispute over parenting or visitation time. A good babysitter can serve as your "undercover" eyes and ears, making observations about the children and picking up on cues about their happiness at home and at your ex-spouse’s home. A babysitter may detect inappropriate behavioral patterns or may discover an undisclosed bruise on one of the children’s arms or legs. Rumors at school or at camp could leak out while the babysitter is over the house. For example, imagine learning from your babysitter that your daughter saw a "For Sale" sign on your ex’s home – something your daughter didn’t think was important to mention to you, but mentioned it to the babysitter while playing a board game that jarred her memory.

Babysitters can also serve as key witnesses at child custody trials. They can testify about your parenting skills, your home and work schedules, your household rules and discipline, the children’s state of mind and state of health, and other important factors. Babysitters may also have valuable information about your ex-spouse, which – if you can get around the hearsay rule – may provide further evidence on your behalf.

Let me know any experiences you might have had with babysitters.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Avoid surprise drivers by making early introductions.

Once two parents split up and start shuffling the children between two homes, there is always the risk that the parent responsible to pick up or return the children will have a scheduling conflict. Occasionally, it becomes necessary to have another person carry out the transportation responsibilities. But this is often the source of many curbside confrontations and petty courtroom fights.

For example, a custodial parent may be frightened or threatened to find her ex-husband’s mother picking up the children at the start of his visitation period. Or, she may react harshly to finding the ex-husband’s new girlfriend or new wife behind the wheel. Likewise, the non-custodial parent may feel uneasy returning his children to his ex-wife’s new boyfriend – a new guy in a strange car who has an unclear level of familiarity with the children.

Does the substitute driver have a valid driver’s license? Is his or her car properly registered and insured? Is there a car seat for infants? Working seat belts and airbags? Is he or she a safe person?

The best policy is to introduce all potential substitute drivers as early as possible. Address the possibility that scheduling conflicts may occur, and that the in-laws, or new “significant others” may do the driving from time to time. Provide assurances that the substitute drivers are licensed, are driving safe vehicles, and otherwise pose no risks to the children. If appropriate, identify the substitute drivers in your mediation settlements, divorce agreements, and court orders.

Addressing the issue of substitute drivers as early as possible will prevent the risks of an unnecessary domestic violence complaint or a time-consuming or costly motion before a family court judge.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: My school’s better than your school! Why this might matter in your custody case.

Mom lives in a great school district. The children enjoy top-notch teachers, health-conscious lunch menus and a full array of inter-scholastic sports and clubs. The school "resource center" has a team of highly trained after-school tutors to help children with computer skills and test preparation. The school band, the choir, and the cheerleader squad are among the best in the country.

Dad lives in a decent school district too, but the state allocates far fewer dollars per student to his district than to Mom’s district. In fact, many of the textbooks in Dad’s district are outdated, and many of the teachers – while loyal and dedicated – lack advanced teaching degrees and specialty certifications that are common in Mom’s district.

Does this matter? It might. Judges do not decide who wins a child custody case based only on who lives in the better school district. But the quality of a district, and its particular offerings to particular students may have a genuine impact on the outcome of a case. For example, a district which provides extensive support services and trained personnel to assist disabled students (and which goes beyond the legal requirements), may be the preferred choice for a wheelchair-bound child, especially if that child has made extraordinary progress within that district. A district that provides advanced math courses for an exceptionally gifted math student may prevail over a district that offers only a standard fare of geometry, algebra, and trigonometry courses. A district which provides one-on-one training for a piano prodigy who performs in school concerts could be the preferred choice as well.

In preparing for a custody trial or a contested motion hearing, parents and their lawyers should always consider the schools. Compare the schools where the custodial parent lives to the schools where the non-custodial parent lives. Consider the impact of certain school programs on the particular children in question. How does the curriculum rank? How do the teachers compare? What about specialized services, extra-curricular activities, state funding per-student? How safe are the physical facilities? What’s the dropout rate? The college acceptance rate? The average SAT score? The number of Merit Scholars? How is the school classified in terms of interscholastic sports? Does the district offer Advanced Placement courses, and if so, in what areas? How well-established is the school district’s guidance counseling department? Its vocational training program? Its special education program? Does the district have up-to-date textbooks and technology? All of these questions, and many more, can paint a picture for a judge that helps the court make the appropriate child custody ruling.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Conduct a child safety audit before taking your custody case to court.

Devin, Hunter and Emilio were three boys living in Michigan who caught the attention of public authorities because of their unsafe living conditions. Back in 2007, when authorities investigated the living arrangements, they found that the boys’ mother had been a victim of domestic violence when the children were present. Emilio, an infant, did not have a crib and instead slept on a child’s play couch that was turned into a mattress. Investigators founds that the cushions around the couch were unsafe because the "child could roll into the crack" between the cushions and suffocate. Eventually, in the case of In re Schaeffer, the Court of Appeals of Michigan took the children away from their mother.

The case of Devin, Hunter and Emilio is not unique. In fact, there are many cases in which child custody and parental rights revolve around the safety of the environment in which the kids are living, sleeping, eating and playing. Is your home safe? Is the other parent’s home safe? To avoid any adverse consequences based on a safety issue, you should conduct a safety audit of your household. Perform your own investigation of the kids’ bedrooms, playrooms, toys and blankets, car seats, and other areas. Make sure there are no dangerous or recalled children’s toys in the house. Make sure furniture, doors, electrical outlets and other common problem areas are safe for children. Ask yourself whether there are any social circumstances in the house (for example, a teenager with a drug problem) that might pose a safety threat to younger children.

Performing a safety audit is a good idea, regardless of whether a child custody dispute is pending. But it is even more important if you’re likely to be cross-examined on the issues of health, safety and welfare of the child. In fact, by safeguarding your home against potential risks, you can testify confidently that you can provide the best environment for the child.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Tracking Doctor’s Visits as a Custody Strategy

Whenever parents are embroiled in a child custody fight, or a dispute over visitation rights, the court will inquire into what arrangement serves the "best interest" of the child. But how do we know what is in a child’s best interest? What exactly do those terms mean?

The "best interest" test really boils down to a number of questions: What is in the child’s best educational interest? What is in the child’s best spiritual interest? What is in the child’s best medical interest? ...and so forth. One of the most important ways of measuring what is in a child’s best interest is to consider which parent provides the most day-to-day contact with the child’s doctors, dentists and other health care providers. By gauging a parent’s involvement with physicians and day-to-day health issues for the children, a court can establish one important criterion for determining the "best interest" of the child.

In most cases, the custodial parent takes the responsibility for getting the children to and from their checkups and other doctor’s appointments. To strengthen their positions, custodial parents should give timely notice to non-custodial parents of all doctor’s visits, and then keep track as to whether the non-custodial parents participate in the doctor’s visits, contact the doctor directly before or after the visit, or otherwise inquire about the visit. By tracking the non-custodial parent’s participation levels and response rate, the custodial parent will be able to argue, if necessary down the road, that the non-custodial parent was disinterested in, or detached from, the child’s health care.

If you are a non-custodial parent, you may find that you can strengthen your claim for custody, joint custody, or visitation rights by remaining actively involved in the children’s health care. Attending doctor’s visits, communicating with physicians and office staff regularly, reading doctor’s notes and reports and becoming familiar with the children’s prescriptions will also serve to demonstrate that you are connected with the best medical interests of the children.