DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Create a pdf directory of your child’s key documents

It is best to do things systematically, since we are only human,
and disorder is our worst enemy.
—Hesiod (800 BC)

Do you have all of your child’s medical records catalogued and indexed? How about report cards and school progress reports? Are they all organized? Can you document, on a moment’s notice, who took the child tax credit on last year’s tax return, what you paid in doctor’s office co-pays for checkups and other visits, and how much you’ve paid the piano teacher over the last 12 months?

Chances are, you’re not that organized. And that’s a shame, because having quick access to all of the records, reports and documents concerning your children can be a great advantage in a child custody case. Your lawyer will love you, and the judge will quickly recognize your level of organization as a measure of your dedication to the child’s best interests. (If you’re already doing this, I congratulate you on your organization! Please tell me how you do it, and what your procedures are).

Today, there is no excuse for stacking school records and medical records in a shoebox or stuffing them in a drawer. These records can be easily scanned into your computer system, converted to pdf files and saved on your desktop, your laptop, or on any number of online record-management programs. In fact, with a little time, you can neatly sort and classify records into folders, and sub-folders, on your computer – without spending a dime. If you choose to purchase software programs, you can carry out even more functions such as searching and indexing records on line. In just a few hours, you can gather all of your children’s records on paper, scan them to pdf format, and sort them into files with such names as (1) Pediatrician Visits; (2) Dentist Visits; (3) Soccer Team; (4) School Band; (5) Report Cards, and (6) Summer Camp.

You need not be a technology geek to do these things. If you don’t have a scanner at home, you can usually buy one very inexpensively these days, or you can scan documents to a thumb-drive at a local office center, such as FedEx Office or Staples. Saving your children’s documents will prove to be a great time-saver when you are confronted with a surprise motion in court or a child custody trial. As the Greek poet Hesiod said, "it is best to do things systematically," and uploading your child’s records into an online directory is the modern method of proving this point.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Write like a doctor (Make a Detailed Medical Chart for Each Child)

A parent can never be too informed about a child’s medical history or current health conditions. That’s why it’s a good idea to establish an online health history for your child. Besides the obvious advantage of keeping good records about a child’s medical condition, an online medical chart can serve many purposes in a contested child custody case.

An online medical chart can be consulted prior to a custody hearing or a trial as a way of refreshing a parent’s memory about specific details – when was the child first diagnosed with lactose intolerance; who was the nurse that helped with the at-home therapy; what was the exact dosage of that pill that was prescribed to reduce the swelling? Such specifics can help a lawyer portray a parent as the one who is most keenly connected to the child’s day-to-day health care. An electronic medical history can be readily updated every time a child returns from the doctor or has a sick day from school; it can be consulted periodically to search for patterns and trends; and it can be printed out as a script for a lawyer to consult in examining witnesses or making arguments in family court.

An updated medical history for each child also empowers a parent with knowledge when dealing with doctors, and when trying to persuade the other parent why a certain procedure or medical therapy is justified.

Many hospitals and health care providers, and a number of internet services, provide online health care management programs. For example, the “Personal Health Manager” program used by Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia, Pa., permits users to list numerous family members and to chart each of their hospital and doctor’s office visits, to record each of their medications, dosages and other relevant details, to maintain a running list of vital signs and lab results and to print a report. Other programs permit users to monitor their progress in weight and fitness programs and can be customized for hundreds of diseases and ailments.

While keeping up-to-date health histories is a smart idea in its own right, a parent involved in a child custody case would be wise to maintain such records and to use them as a source of increased knowledge about their children.

DAILY CUSTODY TIP: Tracking Doctor’s Visits as a Custody Strategy

Whenever parents are embroiled in a child custody fight, or a dispute over visitation rights, the court will inquire into what arrangement serves the "best interest" of the child. But how do we know what is in a child’s best interest? What exactly do those terms mean?

The "best interest" test really boils down to a number of questions: What is in the child’s best educational interest? What is in the child’s best spiritual interest? What is in the child’s best medical interest? ...and so forth. One of the most important ways of measuring what is in a child’s best interest is to consider which parent provides the most day-to-day contact with the child’s doctors, dentists and other health care providers. By gauging a parent’s involvement with physicians and day-to-day health issues for the children, a court can establish one important criterion for determining the "best interest" of the child.

In most cases, the custodial parent takes the responsibility for getting the children to and from their checkups and other doctor’s appointments. To strengthen their positions, custodial parents should give timely notice to non-custodial parents of all doctor’s visits, and then keep track as to whether the non-custodial parents participate in the doctor’s visits, contact the doctor directly before or after the visit, or otherwise inquire about the visit. By tracking the non-custodial parent’s participation levels and response rate, the custodial parent will be able to argue, if necessary down the road, that the non-custodial parent was disinterested in, or detached from, the child’s health care.

If you are a non-custodial parent, you may find that you can strengthen your claim for custody, joint custody, or visitation rights by remaining actively involved in the children’s health care. Attending doctor’s visits, communicating with physicians and office staff regularly, reading doctor’s notes and reports and becoming familiar with the children’s prescriptions will also serve to demonstrate that you are connected with the best medical interests of the children.